you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
My vagina is officially offended.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
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