just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
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