FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
