what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Randomize
