THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
