she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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