My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
