I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
