Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Randomize
