Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Randomize
