Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Randomize
