would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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