i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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