I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
you didnt know i had herpes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just googled if crying burns calories
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
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