Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize