The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize