It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
