and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize