I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
