I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
accomplished twins. life is a go
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Randomize
