My friends, they love my intelligence
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Semen is not good for contacts.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
