Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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