I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Randomize
