nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Operation Purity has been aborted
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
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