I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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