hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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