Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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