She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize