Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize
