Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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