chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
