he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't judge my taste in strippers
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize