why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
