the new term for farting is butt boxing.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
