Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
