"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize