He passed out mid-signature
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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