If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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