The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
i think my cat just said my name.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize