What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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