I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
