I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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