I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
