if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
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