Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
