I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
