at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
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