Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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