A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Randomize
