the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
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Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
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And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
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