I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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