Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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