Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
You left your phone here
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