I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Randomize
