'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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