I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize