Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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