I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Randomize
