he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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