Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
