Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
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