Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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