I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
