What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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