Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
