C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
only you would photoshop your dick
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
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