Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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